A food blog, are you crazy!…there are millions of cooking blogs, from salads to fusion foods, raw dishes to scrumptious killer cakes and bakes. Just when the entire world is glued to TV programs on cooking contests to the monotonous overweight female chefs in the kitchen rolling out pastries, cakes and vulgar amounts of cream, mumbling along the most uninspiring script as they repeatedly take a swig of wine from the strategically placed glass on the side, the world watches in a mesmerized stupour. This all takes place while we frantically resort to overnight miracle diets in order to reverse exactly what we are watching! What a paradox and ironical situation we have gotten into. A miracle diet, I can share the best hidden secret, six inches of surgical wire and a free plastic straw. Have your jaws wired closed and within eight weeks you’ll be half the size. Now, if you cannot afford this, have your best friend take the hardest possible swing at your relaxed jaw, breaking it at the joint. Apply an ice pack, then proceed to the nearest public hospital where they will wire it closed free of charge.
I could write about tossed salads, steamed vegetables, how to roast anything from a leg of lamb, a pigeon, chicken, guinea fowl or even an ostrich! Waterblometjie stews to Warthog or a dozen types of venison on an outside braai. South Africans have a wide diverse culture of cooking, from our European heritage to Cape Malay and Indian population, not to mention our very own original African native recipes from the beginning of civilization here in Africa. We've been cooking from the back of oxwagons trekking through wildcountry for the last few hundred years. This could go on forever, but with a hundred million starving people at this very moment, I’ll find something more inspiring to do.
The ultimate cooking experience, for body, mind and soul. This requires walking to the kitchen. Take your largest pot available and half fill with boiling water. Then take the half left food from last night and drop it into the pot, as well as the pieces of tomato from yesterdays sandwich, including the old packet of peas in the freezer that are as old as your sisters child. Oh, you may have just found the remains of Wednesday’s pasta, throw that in as well. A remaining piece of broccoli and two ageing carrots in the bottom of the fridge can be added. The last vienna sausage that your spoilt maltese poodle didn't want, drop it in too. While it starts to boil add a teaspoon of salt, a sprinkle of pepper, if you don’t have any, scratch in the draw and find all those little sprinkle sachets from your fast food Macwhatever. While this is simmering away get dressed. Within an hour you’ll be ready for the ultimate culinary and spiritual experience. Wrap the pot in an old dishtowel, and walk to your nearest corner or park down the road. Place the pot carefully on the nearest park bench, and open the lid, allowing the aroma to drift through the open air.
Soon you will be surrounded by a couple of homeless people looking on with hunger and desperation in their eyes. Stand aside and invite them to help themselves. You don’t even need to take cups, because as we all know, anyone living on the street always has the rudimentary mug or tin that they always keep in the event of any opportunity. As you watch this crowd gathering larger, you will notice that their weathered faces change into toothless smiles and contagious laughter.
Within a few minutes your pot will be empty, and you can proceed to take a leisurely walk back home. With the sound of their laughter still in your ears, the fresh air in your lungs, your mind is now releasing the best endorphins. You will have just experienced the ultimate pleasure of giving, as well as having exercised your body without paying a cent toward any ‘looseweightfast.com’ subscription you saw last night on the internet while lying in bed with your laptop which has now become your Siamese twin constantly joined and continuously telling you what to do !
“Hunger is the best sauce in the world”
Cervantes
<3 Blessings to you and your family Sean.. You remind me of how much we take for granted.. thank you...
ReplyDelete